Hi friends! I hope you are having a nice weekend. I am up and at ‘em bright and early this morning. Funny how that works out- when I can sleep in I’m raring to get up and when I have to wake up for work I hit the snooze button an obscene number of times. Such is life.
When you become pregnant, you want the whole world to know. Of course, one typically doesn’t start showing right away, so it is a big deal when your bump starts to show and people begin noticing that you are plus one. In the beginning stages of my pregnancy, I would definitely try to make myself look more pregnant- though that is no longer necessary- check out my disappearing feet.
The view from above. Hello, toes (barely!).
When you start showing, the comments and advice start pouring in. While most of it is welcome and exciting, some of the comments leave me either confused, annoyed or both.
What to Say to a Pregnant Lady
- “You and Brian are going to have the most beautiful baby.”
- “You are already more than halfway along? You look amazing!”
- “Wow, you are all belly.”
- “I can’t even tell you are pregnant from the back”.
- “You are going to be a wonderful mother.”
- “I hope I look as adorable as you when I am pregnant.”
- “Congratulations on still being able to run- that’s great!”
- “I can’t believe it’s a girl- girls steal your beauty and make you gain all over- you just have a basketball!”
- “You are glowing!”
- “You look like you’ve gained barely anything!”
What Not to Say to a Pregnant Lady
- “ZOMG you can’t bend over! YOU ARE GOING TO HURT THE BABY.”
- “I don’t think you should be carrying that (two pound) bag.”
- “You’re eating so many cheez-its- that baby is going to come out orange.” (That was actually kind of funny).
- “You’ve gained 13 pounds? I gained that much my entire pregnancy.” (I still had oh, 18 weeks to go. Definitely wanted to punch her [I kid, I kid. Kind of]).
- “You plan on cloth diapering? Huh. Good luck with that. You’ll see what I’m talking about when the baby is here.”
- “You’ve gained X amount of pounds? WOW!!!”
- “You’re going to do __? Huh. Just you wait. You’ll see.”
- “Sleep while you can because you won’t be getting any EVER AGAIN” (I edited that one a bit but that is gist).
- “If you get an epidural your baby is going to be medicated and won’t do ____ (insert any number of things).”
- “You should only gain X amount of weight.”
- “Hmm so Brian was home on leave in January- and you are due when? October? Are you surree it’s Brian’s?” (the two people that said this were joking but COME ON PEOPLE).
- Three words- Ring of Fire. Ack.
- “YOU ARE HUGE!”
- “Is it okay that I’m touching your belly?”
And much of the same. I (obviously) love talking about my pregnancy, and most of the comments are good-natured and funny. The annoying ones are the ones from mothers who have been there, done that and as a result clearly know everything (I’m talking about all of the cloth diaper judgers- they are out there in FULL FORCE). Obviously I haven’t cloth diapered (or whatever) yet. Just because something didn’t work for you or doesn’t appeal to you, does not mean that no one else can do it. /steps off soapbox.
As I get even bigger I’m looking forward to all of the comments. Even if they’re off the mark/weird/kooky, it’s still entertaining.
What about you? If you’ve had a baby, any gems to share? If not, do you fall into the “what to say” or “what not to say category?” 
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!
(image source above found here)
Katie
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this post!! I certainly had a few laughs. You look great Katie! We need to get together again before August!!
My least favorite comments from people I don’t know – “This must not be your first since you’re showing so much.” “I was going to ask if you were having twins.” “It looks like your about to have that baby any day now.” For the record, I’ve gained the appropriate amount of weight according to me doctor and am measuring right on with my weeks. I think people are just awkward when it comes to talking to pregnant women and don’t know what to say. Oh, and I’ve also heard when it comes to cloth diapering, “I’ll give you two weeks before you are using disposables.”
People seriously lose their filters when they are talking to pregnant women!
I don’t understand why people are so judgmental/smug about cloth diapering. I’ve read so many blogs of women who do it successfully!
At 7w3d and anxious, I HATE it when people say “Ooooh, early days yet…” (we aren’t telling up a storm, but have told a few close family members). I KNOW it’s early days! Do you think I don’t know the risks of miscarriage??? It’s not like I’m announcing on facebook and painting up the nursery!
On cloth diapers, I think people are judgmental because they are defensive- they feel guilty for not cloth-diapering, or at least like you/any cloth diaperer must be quietly judging them for going disposable. So I don’t think it’s actually that they don’t respect your decision-just really careful to make sure they’re not on the receiving end of mommy judgments!
Well (a very quiet) congratulations to you! I’m 25w3d- we are 18 weeks apart! The time flies by so quickly. People say the silliest things. When I was six weeks my doctor brought up miscarriage so flippantly-hello, don’t say that to me!
You are right- people probably feel defensive re: cloth diapering. Our driving force is cost- it is so much cheaper in the long run. I wouldn’t judge someone for going disposable, but I suppose it is natural to be defensive. Good point!
I don’t know why but people feel like they have the right to be nosy and judgemental when talking to a pregnant lady.
I’ve had people telling me I should breastfeed (which I was already planning to, but come on, it’s not a witch hunt!), I shouldn’t have an ammiocentesis, shouldn’t take the (doctor prescribed) vitamins, shouldn’t run, etc. I wonder who’s asking for their opinion…
I think your belly shot and barely there toes are adorable! Q: are you going to cloth diaper? I did for years and loved it!
I am!! That is so awesome to hear! If you don’t mind I may have some questions for you-this is uncharted territory and I feel like I’m in a whole new world!
Working at a daycare has made me realize how much women that already have kids love to dispense advice about pregnancy and having kids! That would really bother me if I was pregnant, even if they were kidding (like joking about the paternity!)
Soooooo….I take it I shouldnt mention weight to a pregnant lady eh?
I am one of those people who never wants to touch the belly, I’m afraid it will infect me or something. But most of my friends insist that I touch it so instead of rubbing, I poke at it (like there isnt precious cargo in there or something) and get it over with. I’m afraid of catching the bug lol
bahahah @ infecting you- too funny! I would love to see you poking someone’s belly- your expression must be priceless!
I used cloth diapers with you and Daniel with the Diaper Genie, good ol days!!
Make sure you refer to this list in the future. I used to swear i would never make those kinds of comments to expectant parents, like how they’ll never sleep again, but now, as an experienced mom of a 2 yr old & 3 yr old, i find those comments just popping out of my mouth when i least expect it. So give those old parents a break, we’ve lost a lot of brain cells!
True, I didn’t think about that! The lack of sleep must contribute
HAHAH wow! I can’t believe some of the comments!! You will have to fill me in on who said what! Luckily I haven’t heard anything bad…YET. Best comment of the week…”You you are pregnant?!! You barley look it!” Sweet!
You are a beautiful pregnant lady (seriously)!
I try to tell pregnant ladies they look good, ask how they are feeling, then move on. I honestly don’t know what to say unless I am friends with them and I try to not talk about weight- it’s not really my business and I wouldn’t ask if they weren’t pregnant. I have probably had some foot in mouth moment, just can’t remember.
I did really enjoy reading this- very entertaining and glad to hear you are having a positive attitude about the yahoos that say crazy things!
You are so sweet
The one about Brian is the worst! People are so dumb sometimes. My girlfriend had her baby in April and people would say to her “You look huge! You are going to have a huge baby!” WTF?! Can’t wait to hear the rest as they roll in.